What comes to mind when you're bored...
okay.. im having quite a shitty day.. okay, days...
i hate to admit it because my reasons for having so are sooooo petty they can actually come across as pathetic.
i mean compared to other people who have waaay bigger problems than i do, i shouldn't even be complaining!! i have so many blessings to be thankful for.. blessings other people could only dream about yet i choose to feel this way.
to make things worse, i don't want to talk about it with anyone even if im dying to do so. i feel my troubles are so petty that i don't even want other people to hear about them. i feel they'll just look at me and shake their heads and think of how shalow i can be..grrr..
i know these phases in my life will pass sooner or later..sooner i hope. they're just mini-teensy-weensy-microscopic-inner struggles i face once in a while when i'm frustrated or bored or bored or frustrated..
the past week was holy week. i learned a lot of great things but i can't seem to get this gloom off of my chest.. my head is struggling with my emotions once again. ofcourse i know i should listen to what my head is saying but emotions can really be stubborn at times..but i haven't given up. Nope. Still struggling..and will continue struggling till my head gets the better of me.
I've chosen to bury myself in books..good books mind you, i abhor pocketbooks..
atleast books render me moments when i can just escape my own life and my own feelings for the meantime. As an added bonus, i get to learn some good lessons about life and lessons on vocabulary..
frustration plus boredom plus lack of adventures..add em all up and you'll get this..
anyway, let me list down some things that will help in my catharsis:
1. im bored.
2. i need a summer getaway.
3. my sister's irritating me with my decision regarding my MA studies..grrrr
4. someone whom i seemingly could trust and i really wanted to trust turns out to be someone i can't trust after all.
5. i know i'm so much better not minding this someone but i can't seem to stop thinking of this someone.
6. i'm surrounded with so much love by my family and my God yet i can't seem to appreciate them right now..worse, i'm lonely right now. (hate to admit this yet i feel it is essential to my healing if i may call it..)
7. i'm wasting so much time and effort in thinking of nonsense things..
8. i need something new to happen in my life right now..
9. oh! and before i forget, i looked at my crush's (how do you spell that?!!) friendster profile a while ago..and i know he's been in a relationship for like a month or two, but i just wanted to check his profile anyway..and i know im so sourgraping when i say this but my gosh!! his girlfriend looks like his mother!!! "WhaaaT?!" was my first reaction when i saw their picture.. okay okay..his young mother. But still his mother anyway..hahahahahaha! i am soooo bad for saying that but it's good to use defense mechanisms once in a while as Freud said..haha. how i love Psychology!
okay, that's about enough revelation for now. phew..hopefully, things will get better soon.
i really need to go out soon. i know good things are in store for me. and i miss my students. i miss counselling already. it's like i am able to find myself when im helping someone. i come to life when i am able to reach out to someone.
need to finish the book im reading..i just borrowed it..
i hate to admit it because my reasons for having so are sooooo petty they can actually come across as pathetic.
i mean compared to other people who have waaay bigger problems than i do, i shouldn't even be complaining!! i have so many blessings to be thankful for.. blessings other people could only dream about yet i choose to feel this way.
to make things worse, i don't want to talk about it with anyone even if im dying to do so. i feel my troubles are so petty that i don't even want other people to hear about them. i feel they'll just look at me and shake their heads and think of how shalow i can be..grrr..
i know these phases in my life will pass sooner or later..sooner i hope. they're just mini-teensy-weensy-microscopic-inner struggles i face once in a while when i'm frustrated or bored or bored or frustrated..
the past week was holy week. i learned a lot of great things but i can't seem to get this gloom off of my chest.. my head is struggling with my emotions once again. ofcourse i know i should listen to what my head is saying but emotions can really be stubborn at times..but i haven't given up. Nope. Still struggling..and will continue struggling till my head gets the better of me.
I've chosen to bury myself in books..good books mind you, i abhor pocketbooks..
atleast books render me moments when i can just escape my own life and my own feelings for the meantime. As an added bonus, i get to learn some good lessons about life and lessons on vocabulary..
frustration plus boredom plus lack of adventures..add em all up and you'll get this..
anyway, let me list down some things that will help in my catharsis:
1. im bored.
2. i need a summer getaway.
3. my sister's irritating me with my decision regarding my MA studies..grrrr
4. someone whom i seemingly could trust and i really wanted to trust turns out to be someone i can't trust after all.
5. i know i'm so much better not minding this someone but i can't seem to stop thinking of this someone.
6. i'm surrounded with so much love by my family and my God yet i can't seem to appreciate them right now..worse, i'm lonely right now. (hate to admit this yet i feel it is essential to my healing if i may call it..)
7. i'm wasting so much time and effort in thinking of nonsense things..
8. i need something new to happen in my life right now..
9. oh! and before i forget, i looked at my crush's (how do you spell that?!!) friendster profile a while ago..and i know he's been in a relationship for like a month or two, but i just wanted to check his profile anyway..and i know im so sourgraping when i say this but my gosh!! his girlfriend looks like his mother!!! "WhaaaT?!" was my first reaction when i saw their picture.. okay okay..his young mother. But still his mother anyway..hahahahahaha! i am soooo bad for saying that but it's good to use defense mechanisms once in a while as Freud said..haha. how i love Psychology!
okay, that's about enough revelation for now. phew..hopefully, things will get better soon.
i really need to go out soon. i know good things are in store for me. and i miss my students. i miss counselling already. it's like i am able to find myself when im helping someone. i come to life when i am able to reach out to someone.
need to finish the book im reading..i just borrowed it..
